Cooking With The Gang
by roxan1930
Summary: Alya decides that she's gonna teach Nino for to cook so Adrien can have good food for once. They also do it and Marinette's house. What could go wrong? crack-fic! Or... crack-ish


****Disclaimer: I don't own Miraculous Ladybug****

 ** **Cooking With The Gang****

"Let's all cook dinner together!" Marinette, Adrien and Nino all stopped their schoolwork and and looked up and blinked at Alya after her sudden outburst.

"Say what now, dude?" Nino asked, breaking the awkward silence.

"I was just thinking, since you've been complaining about how Adrien's chef always make food that's way too fancy but still tasteless after you guys somehow managed to convince his dad to let you come over and stay for dinner, Adrien here probably eats like that every day and doesn't get any good old fashioned 'everyone loves it and wants seconds'-food." the blogger started her explanation and her friends nodded.

"No, I haven't had any food like that since... You know..." Adrien looked down as he thought of his mother.

Seeing that Marinette had an internal drama show of how she could try to cheer him up only to have each scenario end in over the top disaster.

Not noticing her best friend's inner dilemma Alya went on.

"So I thought, since my mom is a chef, she taught me how to cook pretty great and I also heard you say that you can __not__ cook anything so I'm teaching you something! We're also doing it at Marinette's place since her parents are the only ones who are nice, awesome and maybe also a little stupid enough to allow a group of teens to cook without suppervision!" Marinette squeeked when she she heard about how Adrien was going to be in kitchen (and also Alya and Nino but they weren't important enough to care about).

"We're going to team up and make sure Adrien gets to eat actual good food right this evening!" Alya slammed her fist her desk, leaving no room for argument.

"You'd really do that for me?" needless to say, Adrien was touched.

"Of course! Anything for my sweet baby son!" Alya grinned.

"Son?" Nino raised an eyebrow at that.

"Yep! Since he doesn't have normal parents like everyone else I'm adopting him!" Alya proudly raised her chin up.

"Wait! So... I have a mother again?" Adrien asked as a smile started to creep on his face.

"Yes you do! Now come here, my little ray of sunshine!"

"MOMMY!" Adrien practically pounced from his seat and over the desks where he landed in Alya's lap and threw his arms around her neck, hugging her tightly while rubbing his cheek and and down against her's.

"There, there, sweety~" Alya cooed as she petted his hair.

"Hey, since I'm kind of dating Alya and she just became Adrien's mom that must mean I'm his dad now!" Nino laughed.

"DADDY!" within a second Adrien was now sitting in Nino's lap, hugging him in the same way as he did with Alya.

"I promise you I'll be a much better father then Gabriel has ever been!" Nino's eyes burned with determination as he hugged back though because of how he thought of how Gabriel tended to treat Adrien his grip became too tight and Adrien slowly started turning blue.

Meanwhile while Alya was trying to snap Nino out of it and save Adrien, Marinette was having an inner drama of how she couldn't date Adrien if he was her best friend's son as that automatically hade her some type of aunt and as aunt she couldn't date her friend's son without getting shunned, even if Adrien was technically four months older then her.

After a few minutes of gripping and planning, choking, pulling, yelling and inner panicking Ms Mendeleive yelled at them and they all went back to work.

After school Alya told everyone to meet up at Marinette's house in an hour and they all went their seperate ways.

When she got home Marinette didn't even have to explain anything to her parents who told her Alya had already called them in informed them of the plan.

Marinette didn't bother with wondering when her best friend got the time to call her parents and went upstairs to swoon as her many posters of Adrien until Tikki asked if she was really fine with her friends seeing her kitchen and Marinette rushed to clean her kitchen and after that her room too just in case Adrien came upstairs for some reason.

Just as she was putting the cleaning supplies away the doorbell rang and she rushed to open it, revealing Adrien standing between Alya and Nino, the three of tem wearing matching 'World's Best Son', 'World's Best Mom' and 'World's Best Dad' shirts with black jeans.

Not knowing what to say Marinette just blinked and stared at them.

"Yeah, we figured it was too much." Alya shrugged and with that the three of them literally ripped their outfits from their bodies, revealing their normal clothes.

"Let's get down to business!" Alya marched inside.

"To defeat the huns~" Adrien followed.

"Dude..." Nino sighed at the blonde's nerdyness with Disney.

"I couldn't resist." Adrien wasn't even ashamed as he shrugged.

"Are you really alright with us using your kitchen for this, Marinette?" he asked the pigtailed girl politely.

Marinette answerred by squeaking and nodding rapidly.

As soon as Adrien turned away a stupid grin broke out on her face as she thought of how Adrien was in her kitchen.

"Alright, what kinds of food do we all have, Mari?" Alya asked her best friend.

Marinette didn't answer, standing frozen with a grin so wide it almost split her face and her eyes half-lidded dreamily as she stared ahead at nothing.

She looked very stupid and also a little creepy.

Realising the girl who's parents' kitchen they were in wasn't going to be much help Alya rolled her eyes and went to search through the fridge and every cabinet, looking for food to use.

As she did so Nino took it upon himself to entertain Adrien by playing his newest mix-tape.

It was a pretty nice beat but the DJ himself was more into it than the model who sat at the table and curiously looked around the cozy home.

"Alright, I found some things we can use to make spaghetti! What's everyone think of that?" Alya asked after gathering the needed foods and placing them on the counter.

"Makes me think of my photoshoots." Adrien answerred with a small frown.

"Adrien..." Marinette sighed dreamily, still in lala-land.

"Only because of my photographer! You met the guy so you know how he comparesses everything with spaghetti!" Adrien mistook Marinette's dreaminess for annoyance and quickly explained what he meant.

"But I guess I wouldn't mind eating it now." he shrugged.

"Alright, now to get the attention of my student. NINO!" Alya screamed the DJ's name as he stood on top of the couch, twerking as he listened to his own music.

Nino let out the girliest scream in the history of girly screams as he jumped into the air and hung suspended for a few seconds before dropping down and landing on his butt.

"Owww! Dude!" he glared at Alya who smirked back.

"We're making spaghetti. I already got permission from-" "Adrien..." Marinette sighed again, still in her dream-world.

"So you and I are getting to work!" Alya covered for her swooning friend by pretending sche just finished her sentence for her.

"Do you want me to help too?" Adrien asked, ready to help out like always.

"No, today we're making sure you get to eat good food and another time you can make food for us! You just keep that nicely shaped little booty glued to that chair and relax!" Alya answerred as she started the stove.

"Alright, I'll stay but I'm not sure how relaxed I can be knowing you've been looking at my butt." Adrien rose an eyebrow, completely oblivious that Marinette was suddenly standing behind him, the creepy look from before not having left her face as she literally drooled while her eyes focussed on his butt.

Alya however did notice so without a word she ran to her friend, grabbed one of her pigtails and dragged her into the hallway, ignoring the other girl's pained cries.

As soon as they were away from the boys Alya let go and grabbed Marinette by the shoulderscacncd forced her to face her.

"Girl! Behave!" she ordered strictly.

When her friend just pouted she sighed and pulled out her phone and showed a picture of Adrien modeling a very tight fitting T-shirt that showed off the muscles his usual clotches hid from view.

Now __that__ got Marinette's attention.

Her eyes went wide and steam started to shoot out of her nose.

"Aaawhooooo!" she did an imitation of a wolf's howl, started thumping her foot and started panting like a dog.

"You want it? Do you want it?" Alya cooed as she waved the phone like it was a toy and Marinette was an actual dog.

Marinette continued panting as she nodded rapidly.

"If you behave and don't do anything bad to Adrien you can have this! Will you behave?" Alya asked and Marinette nodded again.

"Good. We should head back to the guys but first... Sit!" Marinette obeyed and sat down like a dog.

"Shake!"

Marinette offered her right hand.

"Other shake!"

Marinette put her right hand down and offered her left one.

"Roll over!"

Marinette lay down, rolled two times to the left, rolled back and sat up again.

"Speak!"

"Woof!"

"Play dead!"

Marinette stood up like a human again, stood perfectly still for a moment before gasping as she clutched her chest and stumbling backwards till she bumped into the wall where she slowly and dramatically slid down.

She lifted one hand from her chest and looking at it with a horrified expression as if it was covered in blood.

She then stretched the same hand out to the heavens and whimpered before her eyes slid closed and she slumped and went completely still.

"Bravo! Good girl! Now, let's go!" and with that the girls went to join the boys again.

"That took a while. What were you doing?" Nino asked when they returned.

"Oh, just comparing boobs." Alya lied swiftly as if comparing boobs was something you could actually mention to guys.

Naturedly both boys turned red.

"Mari, join Adrien." Alya ordered and Marinette launched herself into the seat next to Adrien.

"Hi!" Adrien greeted cheerfully and Marinette giggled stupidly.

"Nino! Let's get to work!"

 _ _5 minutes later__

"WHAT THE HECK, NINO?!" Alya cried at the sight in front of her.

"Dude..." Nino mumbled as he held the pan, large flames errupting from it.

Neither was sure how the fire had started but here they were.

"Uhm... Marinette? Nino and Alya are burning your kitchen..." Adrien looked over his shoulder at the scene.

"Huh?" was the only thing Marinette could say as she sat with her head propped up on her fist with her elbow on the table, a dopey smile on her face.

Nino screamed an even girlier scream then before when Alya poured water over the flames but because of the oil the flames ended up reaching the ceiling.

"We better get out of here." Adrien sighed as he face-palmed himself.

 _ _Another 5 minutes later__

"Alright, the fire is out but you can't go back in for tonight again." a firefighter explained to Tom and Sabine who just stood there smiling.

The four teens stood next to them in a daze.

"We're just glad nobody got hurt." Tom said.

"Thank you for putting the fire out. Would you like to stay for dinner?" Sabine offered.

"Weren't you listening? You can't go back inside!" the firefighter exclaimed.

"We'll order takeout."

"At your hotelroom?"

"Why would we need a hoteltoom?"

"You can't go back inside! Where are you going to sleep?!"

"Home."

"Outside?! You'll all freeze or at least get sick!"

"We're a loving family. We can all cuddle for warmth."

"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU TWO?!"

As the firefighter was trying to talk some sense into Marinette's parents the teens talked to themselves.

"Nino, either someone else had to teach you how to cook or you will leave the cooking to me later __or__ you only ever eat takeout because I'm never again gonna try and teach you how to cook!" Alya yelled.

"Good!" Nino yelled back.

"Adri-kins! I was so worried when I heard you were in a fire!" suddenly Chloé appeared out of nowhere and threw her arms around Adrien.

Her trying to hug Adrien wasn't a surprise but what was a surprise was when she suddenly let go with a scream, some of her skin looking like it was burned.

The group of friends stared as the rich girl rolled around on the ground in agony until the ambulance that had come to check them up stopped by, the workers pulled Chloé into it and drove off, sirens ringing loudly.

"Whao... This stuff actually works!" Adrien pulled a can off... something from his jacket and looked it over.

"Is that pepper-spray?" Nino asked.

"No, it's anti-fangirl-spray." Adrien answerred as he sprayed it all over himself again.

"Say what?" Alya deadpanned.

"It was an idea of my dad's assistent, though I really didn't think it would work. According to the instructions it works the best on the worst fangirls." Adrien explained as he casually put his arm around Marinette, not noticing how her face twisted in pain and smoke started rising from where he was touching her.

At that moment Adrien's bodyguard appeared in the car.

"I better go, guys. See you tommorrow at school!" Adrien pulled away and hopped into the car, not noticing the third degree burns he had left on Marinette.

As he drove away he also didn't notice the ambulance that picked Chloé up stopped by his friends again and pulled Marinette into it.

The ambulance drove past Adrien's car and now he did notice.

Through the windows in the back he could see Marinette wrestling with a paramedic as Chloé lay strapped to one of the beds.

"Awww! Look at that! Even while Chloé tends to treat her pretty badly, Marinette still wants to go with her to make sure she's alright! She's even fighting with the paramedics to get closer to her! Mari is just so nice!" the model cooed happily as he pressed his face against the window.

In the front seat the Gorilla just wondered how long it would take for him to find a new job if he were to just quite his current one.

 ** **The End****

 **Thank you all for reading! I know this was really stupid and all but I just wanted to do a crack-ish-fic for this fandom! Or actually, I made a stupid pic in Deviantart with one of those "draw-the-squad" things and used this fandom because I thought it would be funny and then I wanted to make a fic! You can see the crackishness in Marinette's even more obsessive crush and** **creepyness with it, Adrien's obliviousness, Tom and Sabine's sweet but stupidness and more!** **At first I tried for slightly normal but my mind went overboard and created this ridiculous thing but I hope you all like the end result and will review and fav it! Also, please read, review and fav my other stuff too!**


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